Ask Digby: Lola the Chihuahua

Dear Digby

I've been following your pictures for some time now through my owners (I actually heard one of them say you're cuter than me once and I agree. You're a handsome devil) and I am always amazed at the way you carry yourself.

Now I see that you are quite calm and reserved when faced with the schoolyard tactics of humans, and that's why I'm writing to you. At the dog park I'm frequently told that I don't belong there and that I'm not pretty enough to play with the other dogs. I know that I only have three teeth and my tongue hangs out to one side. I'm also not as young as I use to be, however I think I'm fabulous. Those comments are very hurtful though and they get to me. I react badly to the other dogs even though I know I shouldn't. I bark insults back at them, which just makes them meaner and angrier. It's not my fault they can't recognise beauty when they see it!

How can I make them stop so that I can enjoy the dog park like I used to? Please help me, my walks used to be fun but now I hide whenever my leash comes out because I know what that means...

Lola the Chihuahua

 

Dear Lola,

Firstly I'm very sorry that dogs are rude to you. It's not very canine-like and I wonder if they have their own issues to deal with. I'm certain that their behaviour is a direct result of not enough bacon but sadly there's not much you can do about that (unless you want to share your bacon, but I wouldn't). It's not your fault that dogs are mean, it's theirs. Maybe they were poorly socialised as pups but it's not cool that they act like they own the dog park. Surely it's big enough for all of you.

There's hope for you, though! If you can't beat them and you can't get them thrown out of the park the best thing you can do is turn around and show them your booty. At my park we leave turds behind us and walk away, leaving the humans to clean up and that's what you need to do. Just turn your back and walk away. They'll soon get the message.

If they don't there's only one thing to do. Remember that there's power in numbers, get your humans to arrange play dates with your friends. Play at the park only with dogs who love and appreciate you and the other canines will soon leave you alone. If you don't have any dogs in your neighbourhood who can accompany you just find a really fun stick (my friend Gribbles is the best at sticks, so I'm sure she can help you) and take it to your humans. They'll soon figure out that you want to play with just them, and go to the other end of the park. Play some fetch and forget about the dogs who just aren't worth your time. Life's too short to engage with the hateful types you've encountered!

I hope this has helped - and you sound beautiful. I'd happily sniff your butt.

Bacon and kisses

Digby

*Announcing our first guest advice columnist, Ginny the Jack Russel Terrier! If you have a question for Ginny email digby@digbyvanwinkle.com with "Dear Ginny" in the subject line!